Kathy
Location: Edgewood, RI — 7/7/2023
Author’s Note: Kathleen Locarno is my mother. She was born in Niantic, Connecticut on a farm with the Atlantic ocean a stone’s throw away. She grew up with her two brothers, Tom and Peter, and two sisters, Julie and Jeannie. Her parents were Eileen and Peter, better known to me as Granny and Papa. She eventually settled in Providence, Rhode Island, which was where she gave birth to me in 1989.
If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?
00;01;18;21
Oh, is it recording? Yeah. I think the advice I would give my younger self is to slow down, relax, and just be more flexible and take life easier.
How do you define happiness?
00;04;18;02
Happiness is really important to me, and it's a feeling. If I'm not happy, I move away from whatever's making me unhappy. I had a friend, Jean Bowduc, we were talking about what people are addicted to. You know, some people are addicted to running or to alcohol or relationships.
Jene looked at me and said, “You're addicted to happiness.” And it's true. I have to be happy. So I pursue it all the time. And if I sense that I'm not going to be happy, I move away. So it’s very, very important to me to be happy.
How do you approach and navigate regret in your life?
00;11;43;24
I've had regrets. Everyone does, but I don't dwell on them. I don't let them take over me. I don't like to. I live in the present and the immediate future. I don't live in the past at all. I can have a regret, like, say at work, something happens and you're like, Oh, maybe for a day you feel really bad. But I do get over it. And sometimes I look back and I'll say, ‘What was I upset about last week?’ And I really can't remember.
So I don’t dwell on regrets, I just - I can’t. It doesn’t resonate with me. I’ve got to move forward
Was there a time when you did [dwell on regrets]?
00;12;28;22
When I was little and I can remember I was like six years old. I started obsessing about problems and things. And so what I would do is I would make up stories in my head and I would make up movies and stories.
That helped me. It soothed me. So I could go into almost a fantasy world. And then that gave me peace. That's maybe less regrets than just the anxiety of a child, right? I'm just like my dad, I don't hold on to the past.
Is there a quote or just general sentiment of wisdom that resonates with you?
00;07;29;18
“It was ever thus.” I do like that one because people complain nonstop about the world and they'll say the world is so bad now. It used to be much better. And my mother, her favorite saying was - “it was ever thus.” And if you go all the way back to before Jesus was born, the world was the same. Maybe fewer people.
How do you define love or what does the feeling of love mean to you?
00;15;03;19
So love to me means true love is total commitment to a person, total commitment. Taking care of them if they're dying, if they're sick. Oh, that's total love to me. I don't think there's any little bit of love. I think there's ‘like.’ I really can like people, but true love is knowing that I would take care of that person if they were sick because I'm not a caregiver, even though I'm a nurse.
Have you felt that love?
00;15;49;24
Just one person. And that's true. Oh, my son. That's the only person. I mean, sad to say, I loved my parents, but I wouldn't have taken care of them. I wouldn't have been able to. I know my limitations, but my son, I would take care of him to the ends of the world. So that's true love to me. And I've never had that with anyone else.
What activity captivates you? Where time seems to fade away?
00;10;42;05
Well, I could say yoga, I could say meditation, but in reality - cleaning my house. I love to take a Saturday and do a major clean. I talk to myself, I sing, I talk to people. I talk to people maybe that are no longer here, I can really lose myself in cleaning because I like that.
